Friday, October 7, 2011

ShakesPalin Hired By Hedgehod News 'Cause She Was Hot and Got Ratings'

Does anyone know how many Nobel Prize winners work for Hedgehog News (which falsely uses the name FOXNews)? Read the Washington Post, Fox News's Roger Ailes: 'I hired Sarah Palin because she was hot'.

Punnies

From an email:

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

Dijon vu --the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating--always use condiments.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

Shotgun wedding--a case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

My wife has manopause--she keeps stopping me from starting.