Punnies

From an email:

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

Dijon vu --the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating--always use condiments.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

Shotgun wedding--a case of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

My wife has manopause--she keeps stopping me from starting.