Monday, January 7, 2013

The End of the World, Again

UPDATE X:  If history is any example, the next cosmic doomsday prediction is always right around the corner.  Read DiscoveryNews, When Is the Next Doomsday (Not) Going to Happen?

UPDATE IX: Wrong again. But expect another SHAMan prediction of the end of the world soon again.

UPDATE VIII: "Today, the world will end -- again." Read The Atlantic, Apocalypse Now, Apocalypse Then, Why prophets of doom will eternally return.

UPDATE VII: Don't forget, the new and improved Judgment Day will be Friday, following the Fact Free Friday show with Pastor Truthiness (formerly known as Pastor Poppins).

UPDATE VI: Colbert on the 'invisible' rapture:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Invisible Judgment
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogVideo Archive

UPDATE V: Whoops! There was a five month calculation error. "[T]he Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21." Read The New York Times, Radio Host Says World's End Actually Coming in Oct.

Til then, enjoy summer!

UPDATE IV: Are you ready for Apocalypse Saturday?

Read the San Fransisco Chronicle, May 21, 2011: rapture or party time?, which states:

Judgment Day will start in New Zealand, at 6 p.m. their time - "a great earthquake will shake the island asunder, triggering an apocalypse that rolls relentlessly our way. . . [it will] reach San Francisco around 6 p.m. PDT. The saved Christian souls will ascend to heaven, including those dead and buried. All others will remain as the Earth falls into fiery chaos."

In case you want to double check the calulations, see the Washington Post, May 21, 2011: Harold Camping’s calculations for the end of the world.

For Rapturees, I recommend an insurance plan for those furry family members that won't join you in heaven with Eternal Earth-bound Pets, "a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."

To help you sinners stay calm, I recommend, from EOnline, an R.E.M.-Free Doomsday Playlist, "[j]ust 13 songs to help make May 21 the most refreshing doomsday ever."

After the rapture, WEBY will cancel Sunday programing, it will be too late for you sinners.

Instead, you might join the "post rapture looting," signup online, because "[w]hen everyone is gone and god's not looking, we need to pick up some sweet stereo equipment and maybe some new furniture for the mansion we're going to squat in."

Sinners might also check out the CDC's new blog post on their website called Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse. Granted, this will be a Judgment Day Apocalypse not a Zombie Apocalypse, but the website should give you some good ideas for preparing.

Also, after the rapture, I will no longer be available to do this show.

UPDATE III: "Think you’ve got a prediction for when and how the world will end? Get in line." Read CNN, Doomsdays Throughout Time, which notes, there's always "another doomsday around the corner."

UPDATE II: "Robert Fitzpatrick. a retired NYC transit worker and Staten Island resident, has spent about $140,000" for doomsday ads. Read CNN, Doomsday Ads "Mystify" NYC Mass Transit Riders.

UPDATE: Afraid you might not be raptured. Then make your reservation now for the apocalypse bunker.

"Awesome News!" Judgment Day is coming on May 21.

"On that day, people who will be saved will be raptured up to heaven. The rest will endure exactly 153 days of death and horror before the world ends on October 21. . . The Bible guarantees it!" according to Family Radio, a Christian broadcasting ministry." So is it time for a road trip!?

Read CNN, Road trip to the end of the world.