Monday, January 25, 2010

From an email:

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a septic tank truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."

On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a church's bill board: "7 days without God makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a propane filling station: "Thank heaven for little grills."

Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of another septic tank truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"