Friday, September 2, 2011

If You Want . . . Adopt a Dog

From an email:

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's, then adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want, then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies, then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores, then adopt a dog!

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually, then adopt a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness, then ..

See comments for the answer.

Riddle of the Day

From an email:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Obama is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women..
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it?

See comments for the answer.

The Republi-CON I'd Be a Millionaire If It Wasn't For Social Security Myth

UPDATE V: A repost after a rebroadcast of the original show.


UPDATE IV: "Attacking Social Security is cruel and unnecessary, and it has to stop." Read The New York Times, Raising False Alarm.


UPDATE III: "You can save all your life, but those last years before you retire will determine the result." Read The New York Times, With Retirement Savings, It’s a Sprint to the Finish.


UPDATE II: For "[a]nnualized returns for the S.& P. 500., for nearly 4,000 periods," see The New York Times, In Investing, It’s When You Start and When You Finish.


UPDATE: Still think private retirement accounts are the panacea? Read Time, Why It's Time to Retire the 401(k).

Yesterday our great Master Bates spend two hour perpetuating The Republi-CON "I'd Be a Millionaire If It Wasn't For Social Security" Myth. I tried to call in to challenge him on several points, but he wouldn't take my call. No surprise, because he doesn't want to acknowledge the following:


But if you want to touch the flame . . .