Thursday, October 23, 2008

Politically Speaking: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???

SARAH PALIN: I'll find ya a reason and bring it to ya.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

JOE BIDEN: I'm tired of walking on egg shells because of this chicken.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cras#@&&%%......reboot email to:cras#@&&%%...... reboot

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

SARAH PALIN: Because it could see Russia from there.

McCain Throws Bush Under the Straight Talk Express

There they go again, blaming Bush.

"Spending, the conduct of the war in Iraq for years, growth in the size of government, larger than any time since the Great Society, laying a $10 trillion debt on future generations of America, owing $500 billion to China, obviously, failure to both enforce and modernize the [financial] regulatory agencies that were designed for the 1930s and certainly not for the 21st century, failure to address the issue of climate change seriously. Those are just some of them." he said with a laugh

Except this wasn't some liberal, it was Bush's Republi-con successor. McCain made the statement above in an interview with The Washington Times aboard his campaign plane en route from New Hampshire to Ohio.

Too late though to distance himself from Bush. The latest Quinnipiac poll found Bush's approval ratings at 27 in Florida, 22 in Ohio and 21 in Pennsylvania.

Besides, the selection of Palin hurts McCain more.

Greenspan Admits He Was Wrong

I've said and I'll say it again, the primary cause of the economic mess was regulatory and oversight failures. See Washington Post, Greenspan: 'Crisis Broader Than Anything I Could Have Imagined', in which Greenspan admits that the failure of the expected self-regulation represented "a flaw in the model" he used to analyze economics.

Translated from Greenspan-speak he said he now realizes that the fox shouldn't be left to guard the henhouse.

Thanks for the insight. Someone should revoke his government pension.

Bush or Palin, Who Hurts McCain More

Which hurts McCain more, his selection of Palin as his running mate, or Bush. According to the latest Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll, it's not Bush.

Maybe the McCain campaign should ask for a refund of the $150,000 wardrobe.

Where's Bush

Where's George W. (The Worst) Bush been hiding? He did not attend the Republi-con National Convention, appearing only by video. And to date, he has not appeared in public at a campaign rally for any Republi-con candidate. Read CBS News, The Invisible Man Of Campaign '08.

An appropriate end to Bush's presidency, don't you think.

What’s the Difference Between Sarah Palin and a Pit Bull?

Lipstick and $150,000 worth of designer clothes.

Read Washington Post, Neimansgate, and see how hard it is to spend $150,000 on clothes.