From an email:

In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a septic tank truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

At a proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."

On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a church's bill board: "7 days without God makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a propane filling station: "Thank heaven for little grills."

Chicago radiator shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of another septic tank truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

What Do Rosa Parks and the 'Prostidude' Have in Common?

The answer: Alabama.

Read The New York Times, Country's First Legal Gigolo Starts Work in Nevada.

Class Today at NoBullU on WEBY

Listen to the voice of wisdom and reason in a wilderness of partisan rhetoric -- No political insanity, no conservative hypocrisy, no liberal foolishness -- Just straight talk, straight at you, and that’s no bull!!

NoBullU will broadcast today from 4:05 to 5:30 p.m. at 1330 AM WEBY and on line, courtesy of Cyber Smart Computers.

Topics:

Local and regional: end the exile of BJ, and

Nation and international: another Massachusetts miracle or political unalignment, Judicial Activism Inc. and are Naive-ocrats just too stupid to stay in office.

But I'll discuss anything. (Disclaimer: the host reserves the right to end any discussion and hang up on you.)

So tune-in, call-in, but only if you can handle the truth!

Republi-CONs Broke the Economy, But Naive-crats Now Own It

UPDATE II: As I've said before, fear, anger, and hatred works for the campaign, but is not an effective governing strategy. Call the Republi-con bluff.


UPDATE: Time for a vote of raising the debt limit, and after years of fiscal irresponsibility -- two major tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, a costly Medicare prescription-drug benefit and two wars, without paying for any of it -- Republi-cons have found religion.

Naive-ocrats should call their bluff, and refuse to raise the debt ceiling unless it is unanimous. Otherwise, Republi-cons will just use it in the next election.

Here is a life lesson from today's headlines: if you cover for your predecessor's incompetence it will soon be your problem. And in politics, not only will it be your problem, but will spin the blame your way. Read the Washington Post, Promise to Trim Deficit Is Growing Harder to Keep.

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom .

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, but are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.

Prime-Time Propaganda

News as entertainment, just tellin what they want to hear. Read the Baltimore Sun, Sarah Palin's Fox debut: Prime-time propaganda.

Congratulations to Hedgehog News (which falsely uses the name FOXNews) for their new mascot and martyr, "a living breathing symbol of all that the network hopes to be: a place for the forgotten, besieged, suburban and rural American middle, long victimized, often dismissed, beset on all sides by elites and liberals, haters and foes":



Palin's "chipper visage, baseless certitude, utter obliviousness and unwavering belief in her own destiny make her an ideal vessel for this mounting white discontent. It’s perfect: blind faith meets blinding frustration. For an image of what this looks like, simply recall her rallies from the previous election."

I look forward to her tired cliches, random jargon, and catchphrases she had been coached to repeat, often resulting in nonsensical answers and gibberish during the election.

And if an occasional scripted appearance on Hedgehog News is not enough, there is always the Sarah Palin Quote Generator.

She is "the Palin that America has long come to know, at once skittish and confident, sing-songy in elocution, repetitive in substance and Palinesque in diction. . . . "To quibble with any of these utterances, in form or substance, would be to simply help fulfill her" destiny.

It's all part of God's plan.

All Hail, the Great Palin has returned, we are saved!

Then again maybe not, the end-time is upon us.

Class Today at NoBullU on WEBY

Listen to the voice of wisdom and reason in a wilderness of partisan rhetoric -- No political insanity, no conservative hypocrisy, no liberal foolishness -- Just straight talk, straight at you, and that’s no bull!!

NoBullU will broadcast today from 4:05 to 5:30 p.m. at 1330 AM WEBY and on line, courtesy of Cyber Smart Computers.

Topics:

Local and regional: is it time for an investigation of the Escambia County Commission and their good ol' boy friends or was it all just ignorant innocence and an update on the ongoing legal dispute about God and Santa Rosa county schools, and

Nation and international: Obama the Fawning Sycophant Mutt and should it be open season on abortion doctors, or anyone you genuinely hate?

But I'll discuss anything. (Disclaimer: the host reserves the right to end any discussion and hang up on you.)

So tune-in, call-in, but only if you can handle the truth!

Realization

From an email:

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head...............

Holy S#!t, my dog must be a democrat!

The Panic Industry

Was the so-called H1N1 flu 'pandemic' just another industry con? Read OpposingViews.com, Expert Says Swine Flu Scare Just a Money-Making Scam.

The panic industry is big business, just ask the Republi-cons.

Fly Naked or Die

UPDATE V: Were recent event justification of panic and anit-Muslim discrimination? Read The New York Times, A Year of Terror Plots, Through a Second Prism.


UPDATE IV: How are al-Qaeda and the Republi-cons alike? They both use fear, anger, and hatred for power. Read the Washington Post, Don't panic. Fear is al-Qaeda's real goal.

And don't forget panic -- the Republi-con reaction to the to the failed Christmas terrorist attack make them sound like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off.


UPDATE III: Connect the dots for national security:




UPDATE II: Be very, very afraid, the parrot might be a terrorist. Read The New York Times, Take Off Your Shoes, and Is the Parrot Loaded?


UPDATE: One moderate Republican thinks the Republi-cons are being childish and hysterical in their reaction to the failed Christmas terrorist attack. Read The New York Times, The God That Fails.

I don't think Republi-cons will be happy until the TSA implements this new regualtion:





So much for the next family vacation.

Are You Ready for Some Republi-CON Smack Down

UPDATE: "Are the battles among establishment Republicans and the tea party folks the desperate thrashings of a dying movement or the labor pains of a new one?" Read The New York Times, G.O.P. Grief and Grieving.

2010 will be a year of Republi-con civil war, and Florida is where the fighting is now fiercest.

As previously noted, the 2010 Florida Senate race is shaping up to be Washington leadership v. grassroots, pragmatism v. ideological delusion, reality v. lunacy. It is an intra-party fight whether to moderate the political agenda or go all-in conservative hypocrisy, whether the campaign theme should be hope for the future or fear and loathing.

And Florida is a great setting for this smack down, a political "swamp of Elián Gonzáles, Terri Schiavo, Mark Foley, Katherine Harris, William Kennedy Smith, confused Jews voting for Pat Buchanan in Palm Beach County, the National Enquirer (based here), Rush Limbaugh (lives here) and Tiger Woods (crashed here). " (BTW, there is a local NW Florida/Republi-con Riviera angle to the article.)

So get ready for the fun by reading The New York, The First Senator From the Tea Party?


P.S. One of these guys needs a catchy and practical proposal to unite and reform the party. I'd suggest GR&TR (formerly known as GRAC). We'll discuss Friday.

Republi-CON Victimhood

In 1948 Strom Thurmond of South Carolina ran for President of the United States on the Dixiecrat (or States' Rights) ticket. Thurmond had based his presidential campaign largely on an explicit racial segregation platform.

In December 2002, at the 100th birthday party of Thurmond, Trent Lott, Senate Republican leader, said: "When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over the years, either." After an outcry by Democrats, Lott resigned his leadership post.

Now it has been reported that during the last U.S. presidential campaign, Harry Reid, Senate Democratic leader, praised Obama as a "light-skinned" African American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." Republicans are demanding Reid resign. Should he?

Is pining for the good old days of segregation and white supremacy the same as an accurate analytical comment on politics and race?

Truth is though, a review of statements by members of both parties show they are not so different after all.

Class Today at NoBullU on WEBY

Listen to the voice of wisdom and reason in a wilderness of partisan rhetoric -- No political insanity, no conservative hypocrisy, no liberal foolishness -- Just straight talk, straight at you, and that’s no bull!!

NoBullU will broadcast today from 4:05 to 5:30 p.m. at 1330 AM WEBY and on line, courtesy of Cyber Smart Computers.

Topics:

Local and regional: local kid helps power Alabama win the BCS championship game, but is Alabama the best team in the country, maybe global warming wouldn't be so bad after all, and Ronnie Mac wants back and

Nation and international: are you ready for some Republi-con smack down and religious war anyone?

But I'll discuss anything. (Disclaimer: the host reserves the right to end any discussion and hang up on you.)

So tune-in, call-in, but only if you can handle the truth!

Did Hell Freeze Over?

Al Sharpton goes moderate. Read the Washington Post, Celebrities and athletes offer a poor example on guns and violence.

Kill Them, or Give Them a Lawyer

Ever wonder why we kill some would-be terrorist, and give others a lawyer. Because that is how justice is applied.

Tell Cheney to read The New York Times, What’s Our Line?, and the constitution if he has one (which I doubt),

Teabaggers Unite!

Naive-ocrats and Republi-Cons, beware -- the peasants are angry. Read The New York Times, An Uneasy Feeling.

And the tea party movement is now more popular than either sorry party, but will it become a major force in American politics? Read The New York Times, The Tea Party Teens.

Color Me Not Surprised

More naughty Banksters making foobs of us, again. Read The New York Times, Fannie’s Christmas Eve Surprise.

The Frog and Golf

A man goes out golfing.

He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.

He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked and says "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog."

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the man asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one.

The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."

"They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"

The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."

Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."

The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."

He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous girl.

"And that is how the girl ended up in my room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."

Religious War Anyone?

Some have suggested strip seaches and separate lines for Muslims.

But should Muslims be banned, as some have suggested, from all U.S. air travel?

And more than half of the people who took an online poll said yes!

It's called guilty by association. Is it appropriate? What do you think?

We'll be discussing this on Friday at NoBullU on 1330 WEBY.

Say No More

From Time, Say No More: The Banned Words of 2010:

1. Shovel-ready
2. Transparent/Transparency
3. Czar
4. Tweet
5. App
6. Sexting
7. Friend as a verb
8. Teachable Moment
9. In These Economic Times...
10. Stimulus
11. Toxic Assets
12. Too Big to Fail
13. Bromance
14. Chillaxin'
15. Obama as a prefix